PACT

(edit: I actually wrote this last night, 6/14/10, but since my stupid internet was down, I'm just now getting to post it!)

Ashley and I made a pact tonight.

Lately, I’ve really been thinking about moving out of Mississippi. I need to spread my wings. And also, I feel as though I’m a bit too liberal for these parts. I want so much to live elsewhere. I don’t want to be that girl who lived and died within 200 mi of where she was born. (Technically, I was born in Alabama, but you get my point). And the time is now. I am only 22 years old. I do not have a significant other, children, or anything else holding me down. I have no reason NOT to explore the world…or at least another state. And, I’m so scared…that if I don’t leave now…that if I don’t have my experiences NOW…then soon I’ll be married, with children, and have NO WAY OUT. And while I ultimately wish and hope for a loving family, I fear that if I don’t live now…I will always regret it. I will always ask myself “What if?”.

I have always admired the big-city lifestyle. I say that my ultimate dream would be to live within a train’s ride distance from NYC…to be able to visit the city and see a Broadway musical every single weekend. Why can’t I do that? I have a BSN, now. And as soon as I pass the NCLEX I will be a certified RN. I can work in any hospital making enough money to support myself comfortably. So what if I want to move near New York? So what if I want to move to Los Angeles? So what if I move to Texas? I CAN DO IT.

So, tonight, Ashley and I had a wonderful girl’s night going to see Sex and the City 2 and having dinner. During dinner, I brought up my dreams about moving away. She totally agreed. She said she’d always dreamt of moving away, the Carolinas or wherever…and making it on her own. In a new city, a new state…doing NEW things. So, we made a pact.

We even shook on it.

She’s in Pharmacy school, but will be finished in 2 years. She mentioned that she’s going to do a residency, and wants to go away to do that. I said, “Why don’t we go together?” My biggest fear about moving away is not knowing anybody. If I had just one person there with me…I could do it. So, this pact we made…we’re going away. We’re getting out of Mississippi. Wherever they send her away to do her residency…we’re going together. I can find a job anywhere, and by then, I’ll have my financials in order. In these two years, I will live with my parents for a year and then with my sister for a year. Then…away I go. I’ll only be 24 then…plenty of time to get out of Mississippi for at least a year or two. And stay away if I feel the need…or come back and raise children here if I want to.

I feel so light-hearted at these new possibilities.

I feel as though I have a real plan now. That I will actually be making something of myself by going…ya know? I’m so excited.

“Unlimited..my future is…unlimited. And I’ve just had a vision almost like a prophecy…”