Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Moving

Whew! I am super busy this week! I am moving from my house in Oxford, MS to my parents' house in Madison, MS (near Jackson). First of all, I HATE moving! I hate having to pack up everything I own and stick it in boxes and then unpack everything and put back. I HATE IT.

Second of all, I hate cleaning up the house afterward! You never know how dirty your house really is until you move everything out! And this one is gonna be a mess, I just know it.

And also...I'm moving back in with my parents. Granted, I've never lived in Madison before. My parents moved after I had already graduated high school in Oxford and so I stayed to go to Ole Miss (Hotty Toddy!). I am NOT looking forward to sharing a bathroom with my sister again. I am, however, looking forward to home-cooked meals, less bills, and hopefully a job!

So, I'm sorry this post has to be so short, but my Daddy will be here bright and early to start loading things up and if I'm not ready...UH OH.

So, I'll let you all know how it is after I'm moved in again!

peace, yo.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Wonderful News

Friends! So if you haven't heard already...


I PASSED MY NCLEX!!!!!


Oh my gosh, am I excited. I am blown away and humbled and SO THANKFUL. God is so good. I honestly didn't think I had passed. I had already prepared myself and my family for the worst. I was NOT going to get upset when I got the (bad) results, I was just gonna sign up again and move on.


WHEW am I glad that is NOT THE CASE!


Dr. Gunn, bless her sweet, sweet heart, texted and asked about my results today right as I was arriving home in Jackson (from Oxford). I was under the impression that it would take 5-7 days to get my results so I was not expecting them until at least next week. I went online and was searching the Mississippi Board of Nursing website for licenses when my Mama walked in. She took over, because I guess she knew what she was looking for (I did NOT). And after putting in my information, there it popped up: Megan Alderman licensed 7.21.10, type: RN.


I have never been so excited in all of my freakin' life. I jumped on my Mama and hugged and cried and screamed and jumped and was generally acting crazy.


GOD IS SO GOOD.


So now, tonight, I've already applied to two jobs with my license number.


I am...


Megan Alderman RN-BSN


Praise Jesus. I never thought this day would come. Everything I've gone through for the past 2.5 years has been worth it...for THIS day.


So now, for a job. I will keep praying and keep my faith that He will lead me to the right job.
(And maybe a really cute husband?)

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Today

It's hard to talk about certain things when you know they won't turn out well.


I took my NCLEX today.


I failed it. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind. I took all 265 questions and never got to any upper level-type questions such as management/delegation/etc.


I'm heartbroken.


What else is there to say about it? I should have studied more, I should have moved home for the summer to minimize my distractions, I should have been BETTER.


I don't really want to talk about it because I'm not just looking for support about this--I honestly failed it. And in a couple of days when I get my results I'm going to have to tell everybody for sure...Yep, I'm a FAILURE.


Super.


I just really need some guidance in my life right now. I'm upset and trying not to show it. I'm confused and I have NO IDEA what life has in store for me and I HATE THAT.


Thank God for my parents today. Especially my Mama. I called her, literally bawling my eyes out (while trying to drive home--not smart), and incidentally she did make me feel a little bit better.


Not much. But a little.


So here I am. Once again I'm the one who's so close but just doesn't make it.


I guess the only option is to try harder. Do better. And Pray.


So, I'm moving on from this. As Daddy said, "It's not the end of the world. It's not like you have cancer or anything." How poetic, Dad. :) And surprisingly comforting.


For now, Goodnight.


Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.
Sure can't get much worse.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Music Makes Me Happy

MUSIC :)




"Little Boxes" by Malvina Reynolds...Theme song to "Weeds". Love it.

"Lost" by Anouk....Been on SYTYCD many, many times. My favorite lyric is "lost in this world, i even get lost in this song.."

"Sleepyhead" by Passion Pit...it's weird. But I love it.

"You've Got the Love" cover by Florence + The Machine...One of my new favorite bands. Love, love her sound.

"You Take My Troubles Away" by Rachel Yamagata and Dan Wilson....What else can I say about Rachel Yamagata? I love everything she does.

"F*ck Was I" by Jenny Owens Young..This song is classic. Love the lyrics. It's really quite a mean song about love, haha :)

"Blue Eyes" by Cary Brothers...Have mentioned before how much I love this song??

"Ooh La" by The Kooks...The lead singer's accent makes this interesting.

"Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perry...Was on SYTYCD. Fell in love. Then I found out she's not even signed! She was a local artist that choreographer Mandy Moore heard and fell in love with this song and used it. Now Christina Perry is in the Top 20 on iTunes. Crazy, huh? Oh, here's a link to the dance HERE . LOVE IT.

"12:59 Lullaby" by Bedouin Soundclash...Have I had this on my blog before? It's definitely one of my very favorites that was on Grey's.

"Look at her Face" by Coral Sea...It's puuurty.

"Lullaby" by The Dixie Chicks..I know, I know what you're thinking..."The Dixie Chicks, MEG? REALLY?" But I love them. And this song doesn't even sound like a country song anyhow. It's beautiful.

"Let Go" by Frou Frou....Imogen Heap before she went solo. Love her. This is one of my all-time favorites.

"Oh My Love" by Inara George...I like it, what can I say?

"I Love the Rain (the Most)" by Joe Purdy...His voice is so soothing. I can always just fall asleep.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Study, Study, Study

First of all, I AM studying, I'm just taking a break right now to tell about my vacation this past weekend!

We (Kasey/Johnny/Nate, Nikki/Kelley, Alex/Cory, and me and my sister) drove over to Birmingham, AL on Friday afternoon so we could enjoy a couple of days at their theme/water park. It's called Alabama Adventure and it's right below Birmingham in a little town called Bessemer. Though it was a very short vacation (we arrived Friday night and left Monday morning), we all had an awesome time. I love those people (they're all Amanda's cousins) like my own family. We played hard during the day and ate good food every night. I am crispy-fried burnt though because for some reason I didn't think I'd need sunblock for an entire day outside clad only in a swimsuit. (Definitely a DOH! moment)

The water park was pretty fun, but just being in the water and hanging out with these folks made it really fun. Honestly, the most fun I had that day was in the lazy river! We were all floating together and acting crazy, horse-playing and such. Fun, Fun, times.

Then on Sunday (after I got crazy red-burnt) we went to the amusement park side. It was lots better than I expected, honestly. The really cool thing about it is they mixed in carnival-type rides with regular roller coasters. Normally, I don't have much problem with motion sickness on these rides and I enjoy them immensely. But for some reason on that day, my stomach was NOT cooperating. Coulda been the extreme sunburn, could have been the heat, could have been the greasy McDonald's breakfast (we woke up too late for the continental :( ) but whatever it was...I only got to ride a few of the rides and even then I got off sick to my stomach. But...I still had a blast!

Now, back to what I'm supposed to be doing. I am studying for my big test. I take it next Wednesday, exactly a week from today. Currently I am using my Hurst Review Book and the online resources they provided for me to study. I hope to get in at least 3 straight hours of studying a day. I feel like that will be plenty, ya know? Oddly, I'm not nervous anymore. I just want to get it over with! Everybody that I know that has taken it already has passed with flying colors, so surely I can too!

But still Pray for me, k? :)

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Update

Yes, I know, it's been quite a while since I updated--over a week! So, though I don't have much to say today, I decided to put on Pandora (Idina Menzel Radio, of course) and just talk. So, here I am.... I haven't told you guys yet..but I actually set a date for my NCLEX.

JULY 21

I am pretty freakin' nervous about it. I had a mini breakdown the day I set it. I called my Daddy...cried for a bit. Then I sucked it up. And set my mind to what I have to do--and that is PASS. This is only the biggest obstacle I will have in my life thus far. LICENSURE.

I'd rather have two more knee surgeries than do this test. Yes, it's THAT BAD.

But I know that the past 2 (...4) years of school have prepared me. The entire week and a half leading up to the date I have taken off of work and will be doing NOTHING but studying. No visiting friends, no hanging out..no playing Lego Harry Potter (my recent video game obsession). JUST STUDYING.

I can do this. But I would really appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers in the meantime.

I HAVE to find a job. HAVE TO. I need income. And the whole point of me moving in with my parents is to save money from my actual job...and put it toward my student loans.

I have to get on with my LIFE, ya know?

No more of this limbo thing. No more of this college graduate without a job thing. No more of this no boyfriend, 100 lbs overweight thing (oh wait, that's a whole other set of goals).

I have this mental checklist in my head, of how my life is supposed to be. So far, I have really only accomplished the first part--graduating from college. There's so much more that I expect of myself, and in order to reach/pursue these goals...I need more. I'm not sure what exactly I have to do, but moving to Jackson is my first step. Maybe a change in scenery will jump-start my life and head it in the right direction.

But, I am still incredibly sad. I have lived in Oxford my entire life! I know nowhere else. And though I am so happy about seeing my family more often (I miss my mom and dad and sister constantly), I am scared? sad? anxious? about leaving. And I HATE the whole moving process. Definitely not looking forward to doing that. Well, again, all I can do is suck it up, and ask for prayers. Pray that I find a good job, pray that I find a good man, pray that my life ends up being all that I want it to be.